Church Shooter: Devin Patrick Kelley- @shannonrwatts

The common vernacular for the majority of Black America is based in the fact that as a group we lack self esteem. Self Esteem by definition reflects a person's overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her own worth. It is a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self. As a group we commonly refer to ourselves as niggas, bitches, dawgs, hoes, pimps. We quickly tell people "it's hard in these streets", or "that we are grinding", and "the struggle is real". ( We were taken from Kingdoms, the streets aren't where we belong. Grinding suggests something isn't working properly or something is being broken down. Pain is inevitable, suffering/struggling is optional) Having a low self esteem we take these words and phrases and we try to make them mean something positive. As opposed to using positive words, we've been conditioned to think that we aren't worthy of positive thinking, that our thoughts and words aren't valuable. Until we understand the power of words, we can not progress as a group. (I use the term group as opposed to community because right now, there is no common unity between Black people) Although most of us don't understand the power that words possess, as a group we've released that power in the negative. The words that we continuously use have built a foundation of failure,rejection, and disappointment. We've come to believe that glorifying money, drugs, partying, sex, and violence is the way to gain respect. Respect then equates to approval, and when you don't have self esteem or respect for self, you automatically seek approval. You can see us searching for approval every time, a Black person does something in this society that no other Black person has done. We hear things like the first Black to graduate from Harvard Law, or the first Black doctor to perform brain surgery, or the first Black mayor of any city, USA. We see us seeking approval even amongst ourselves. We buy the flashest car, or the newest shoes, or the most expensive bag, all in hopes that someone will see it and rain down their approval. We see it in our music, when all that is talked about is if a record went platinum, or which MC is best. The lack of self esteem and self respect is seen daily in words we choose to use, the fashion we choose to take part in, the music that we choose to accept, and the god we choose to serve. We were robbed of our culture, thus our self worth and self esteem. When we were given our freedom in the late 60's there was never a collective effort to redevelop a "Black culture". We were left to our own devices, devices that were based on the culture that our oppressor beat into us, all while beating out our self esteem. Hip Hop is the first collective effort at rebuilding "Black Culture", and unfortunately we are in the process of giving that to our oppressor as well. Which as I type this, makes sense...we don't even trust ourselves enough to know whats good for us. My thoughts continue to run while typing out this blog, so a part two may follow. I close with positive words. We are GODS, we are stronger than we know ourselves to be today. We must change how we think of ourselves, so that the power of words manifest the reality that we all deserve. To my brothers, you are loved, believe that and allow that to permeate your spirit and soul and heal the hurt that we deal with silently and sometimes daily. To my sisters, thank you for loving us while we are unsure of how to love ourselves and haven't been loving you. Your strength has proven stronger than our hate for self, and we need it as we transition into the Kings that we truly are. LOVE

Here are a few thoughts in regard to the protest in VA - I hope you enjoy it. There were over 900 views on my Facebook which was pretty cool. Peace

"Lord don't take my heart, Lord don't take my soul, Lord don't let them take Hip Hop like they took Rock and Roll" --David Banner, Elvis For the past few years, I've often marveled at how influential Hip Hop has been in this stage play I call my life. Hip hop taught me how to speak, how to dress, who are my friends and family were and who my enemies were. It influenced just about every thought, idea, and emotion I had ever since I picked up the 2nd Fat Boys tape Christmas of '85. Hip Hop was my religion, MC's were gods, verses were biblical, parties and clubs were church, and conversations with other Hip Hop heads were prayers. Hip Hop was my politics, growing up in the burbs kept me protected from the horrors of the inner city and the violence of the streets. However, Hip Hop gave me a first hand look at how some of my people were living and being treated by the government that was trying to convince us on the nightly news that they actually cared. I vividly remember movies like Rappin, Breakin I, II, Crush Groove, Belly, Above The Rim, Boyz N The Hood, Menace II Society, New Jack City, Juice, Friday, House Party, Beat Street, and Wild Style. All gave a visual from the perspective of Hip Hop, and it literally blew my mind grabbed my soul and possessed me. I can remember walking into my first school dance, 6th grade in Fredericksburg, VA. I was introduced to Gogo, and more Hip Hop than I knew existed. I was taught how to dance, I was taught how to dress, I was taught hip hop slang. I loved it all, I ate it all up and tried to become the personification of Hip Hop. I had at least 50 pairs of Nikes, tried to find the dopest Cross Colours, or Get Used jeans, or tie dye outfit, or Timbs, or Starter Jacket...if it was Hip Hop, I wanted it. All of this because of a culture that included music, art, sports, fashion, and love inspired by people that looked like me. A culture that literally defined me and my world until late 2000's when I feel it started to be given away. From the mid 90's Hip Hop was literally the dominate culture, no other culture existed without some form of influence from Hip Hop. It was a gift and curse! The gift was the world was privy to "me", the curse was the outsiders didn't see me, they saw dollar signs. It slowly became exploited, so much so, that the newcomers to the culture started selling it for 15 mins of fame and a quick paycheck. Now it's being given away from 5 mins of fame and even smaller paychecks. My culture is being stolen, reminiscent of how the culture of Kemet was stolen. Kemet, the original Egypt our original culture. A culture based on music, science, sports, spirituality, love, and fashion. Music was played during sporting events, schooling, spiritual events, and just day to day activities. Kemet, meaning Black Land was literally a land of my people that were just as affected by the music of their day as I was to the music of my day. The culture taught the people how to think, how to dress, how to love...it told stories, it was used to celebrate life and death, it prepared warriors for war, and brides for marriage. The prophets of the day were the ones that possessed the understanding of the culture through the music, science, and spirituality and they disseminated that understanding through lyrics, and arts. The culture defined the times, so much so, that other civilizations came to Kemet to learn about the culture in effort to create their own. As those civilizations grew stronger, they slowly stole the culture from Kemet, used it to create their own and eventually stole the people. Most music, sports, and religions from around the world can be traced back to Kemet and it's culture. Once the culture was successfully stolen, the people perished. I'm really hoping that we don't allow Hip Hop to be completely stolen, because history proves that once the culture is gone, the people soon follow. Namaste